Banks, Helping People (A Rant)

Just came across this story, and it made me angry for a number of reasons.  On a personal level, it's because of the repeated acts that I have put up with over the years at the hands of idiots employed by these institutions.  Now, before you think I'm going to go off on the evils of financial institutions, I need to explain that what I'm going to rant about is actually related to the idiocy of individuals.  However, corporate policies encouraging "gotcha capitalism" also fall in my sights.

My most recent dealing with this kind of idiocy happened just yesterday, while dealing with Chase.  I have two business accounts that I opened with WaMu years ago, and needed to make some deposits.  However, I realized that my last ATM card had expired and that I hadn't received a new one.  When I called Chase to find out about a new card I ended up having to go through all of the usual steps to confirm my identity and accounts, twice.  Even after that, they refused to send me a new ATM card until I provided the date that I opened my accounts, something that would require me to dig through archived files that I hadn't seen in half a decade.  When I explained this to the person on the phone, she told me that they couldn't do what banks have been doing for years: automatically sending a new card to replace expired ones.  It didn't matter that I confirmed my account number, address, phone number, personal name, company name, SSN, etc. they wouldn't just send a replacement card to the address they had on file until I dug up some old paper.  Finally realizing that stupidity is never cured over the phone, I hung up and went into the nearest Chase branch.  I walked up to the first person I saw, said "I need a new ATM card," gave them my name and account # and told them it could be sent to the address on file.  They said "sure" and I was done.

My previous episode was with a branch of Bank of America.  I had paid off my car, and received a check back from the company for an ~$2 overpayment, drawn off of an account at B of A.  Thinking that it should be a no-brainer to get this cashed I went into a branch across the parking lot from where I was buying groceries and was told that because I didn't have an account there, I would be charged $5 for cashing a $2 check from their own damn accounts.  Fortunately, at this point the teller stopped trying to convince me to open an account there, since it was getting obvious that I was not a fan of their "gotcha" practices.

Another great B of A story isn't directly mine, but my grandfather's.  He's in his 80s, and cannot drive anymore, but still uses his old driver's license as an ID.  This, apparently, is good enough for everyone except B of A, who took exception with the fact he tried to access his account with it after it had expired.  Now, before you say "sure, why should they accept an expired driver's license" keep in mind that a driver's license is a form of identification that also states whether or not the holder is legally capable of driving.  An expired license simply means that as of some date, the identified person does not have the right to drive, not that the person has now changed identities.  This is also why expired passports are considered valid ID in many cases.  Again, idiocy had trumped common sense.

The best example I have, though, comes from many years ago and involved a credit card company that no longer exists.  I used my card to pay my utility bills every month, then paid off the balance.  This worked fine until my card expired and I hadn't received a new one.  I called the company, wanting them to send a new card and also let me know what, if anything had changed on it so that I could continue paying my utilities online with the new information before the card arrived.  No matter what I told them, they refused to tell me anything because of "security."  I explained that they were the ones who had made a mistake in the first place by not sending a new card, a card that was only of value to me if I could pay my bills with it.  Still refusing to give me any information because they couldn't trust me over the phone, I told them that in that case, their card was of no use to me.  I told them to cancel the new card, and that I wanted to close my account with them.  Remarkably, they seemed to think that I could be trusted now and proceeded to close my account based solely on the word of a person on the phone who wasn't "secure" enough to trust with account information just two minutes earlier.